She's back!

Spooky

Its come round to spending another day at college. Granny hates going and she doesn't enjoy being in the company of Blondie for longer than she has too.

Granny was again the first to arrive, anyone would think she was eager. Blondie's Bitch was the next to turn up and she had her baps out!

This was a tactical ploy to distract Blondie as much as she could. He always has an eye on her ample bosom. Things haven't gone too well for her just lately, so this was her next move.

It might just earn her some brownie points and help things along the way.

He was the last person to come strutting down the corridor. I suppose we should have realised something was going on because he had a blue shirt on - he never wears blue. Still got the dodgy stain though - no change there.

He greeted us all with this "smile" bloody hell, that was frightening in its self. Blondie don't smile unless he has wind.

We all trooped into the classroom and plonked ourselves down ready for a crap day. Perhaps Granny is being a bit too negative. But it is always a crap day in his company.

There was no mention of recent events and he dished out the days work. It was a past test paper for us to complete.

The thing that shocked Granny most was that he didn't give us any verbal as he was dishing the stuff out.

Its very unsettling you know when you are waiting for something and it doesn't happen.

Granny and Blondie's Bitch exchanged glances as both were very puzzled. There she was with her baps on display and he didn't even blink an eyelid. He didn't even notice them. Think someone must have slipped some bromide in his tea.

We all sat waiting for him to give us some grief before telling us to get on with the paper, but it didn't happen.

Blondie actually for once started to go through the paper from start to finish with us all in tow. He actually stopped to allow people to catch up if they had fallen behind. Summat was going on here - it was very unnerving.

The old bird thought perhaps that this was his twin brother just covering the days session for him. This was not our Blondie and it was frightening the old gal.

Even when Mr Angry had a bit of a do, Blondie gave us that smile again - very puzzling indeed?

Blondie gave us a 20 minute break because we had all "done so well" - bloody nora.

He returned after the break and trotted into the classroom - again with that "smile". Somethings definitely going on this was not normal.

Poor old Granny had a bugger of a time concentrating as she was busy staring at him to see if she could spot anything amiss.

The lesson came and went without a hitch and Granny got called angel by him and was called by her christian name instead of the full title he usually dishes out.

When the lesson was over he signalled to three colleagues (BB, BC and Mule) to stay behind. You won't know mule cos he doesn't normally attend this lesson.

Granny and team waited for BB to return. She came out saying that Blondie spoke about having a threesome. Granny told her that it twas them baps that did it. But it was just Blondie having one of his little jokes. He was slipping back into his old routine.

The team went to Zen to discuss the days events. We all came to the same conclusion that the old git had had a swift kick up the backside as his attitude was one we had never experienced.

Granny thinks words have been said as there have been so many grumblings about the Tango Whiskey Alpha Tango (Granny got that from a friend).

For once, today had been very uneventful, but Granny is pleased to say that she feels as though she has learned quite a bit, and dare she say, that she has enjoyed it.

Blondie showing human kindness is very alien to him and the old gal thinks someone has paid him a little visit in the night and given him a brain transplant. Hope to christ they don't come back for it!

It will be interesting to see if Blondie can keep it up (being nice is what Granny is talking about).

Just a little prick!

Granny has been dreading today after walking out of her exam a few weeks back. She was certain Blondie was going to make an example of her in front of the class.

The old bird has had a few sleepless nights and has probably consumed to much of the devils blood to blot out the painful memories of that unfortunate day.

Its been a beautiful day today weather wise but the day was marred by knowing what lay in store for Granny.

The old biddy managed to get a great parking spot right next to the college - maybe it was a good omen of things to come (stop trying to kid yerself).

Granny got into the lift and went up to the 3rd floor. It was bloody mayhem up there. The corridor was packed with teenagers all talking at the same time, all sprawled out and making the place look untidy.

Granny thought what the hells going on, too much frivolity especially as the old gal was about to meet her maker.

She couldn't even sit down while she waited for Blondie, but had to prop herself up against the corridor wall for support until the old git turned up.

When Blondie walks up the corridor it is like a scene from the bible where Moses parted the water. In B's case - the students part to allow Percy Peacock (aka B) to glide through the throng, then the gap suddenly closes as quick as it opened. Oh how he loves it.

We all sat down and waited for the onslaught, especially Granny - she was ready for whatever he threw at her.

He started off saying that he had had a sleepless night worrying how he was going to tell some students that they had failed (that would be Granny then).

He said that he had divided the students into three groups.

Group 1 Straight pass no extra work - could go home.

Group 2 Almost a pass -some extra questions - need to sit on the back row to complete.

Group3 Fail - sit on front row and go through the test paper and will have to re-sit in May.

He hand-picked all the students that could go home and sent them on their merry way.

Blondie then proceeded to stand in front of students and tell them that they either had to go on the front row or the back. This was the moment Granny was dreading.

B came to Granny and looked at her and then said in a really loud voice - BACK ROW. Granny looked at him and said she didn't want to go on the back row because she had not completed the paper and wanted to have another shot at it.

Blondie again said "BACK ROW" don't be stupid, what do you want to take it again for - BACK ROW. So Granny picked up her belongings and sat on the back row with two other buddies.

The old gal looked at her exam paper to see where she had gone wrong and to look at the bits she hadn't completed. The old trout couldn't believe it "B" had actually written excellent on one of the bits he had marked.

Was Blondie inebriated at the time of marking the paper? Did he realise it was Granny's paper?

She will never know, but I suppose the old bat should be grateful that she didn't have to re-sit the exam - as long as she got the extra questions right then she would be on her way.

The three of us who had the little extra to do got going on the questions, while Blondie went through the test paper with the other students who were less fortunate than Granny.

Now Granny is not sure how Blondie digressed from going through the test paper onto the topic of condoms!

Clearly it was a subject he enjoyed talking about and went on to say that in his younger days, he would often buy a pack of three for the weekend. He then went onto say to the young lad sitting next to Granny, that he bet he would use a pack of three in one evening.

Now Granny was puzzled as she couldn't really see a connection between AAT and condoms, but after looking very hard into the matter, she came to this conclusion.

Condoms and Blondie have a great deal in common.

Condom - Inflates when blown up
Blondie - Inflates - when ego stroked

Condom - Well oiled
Blondie - Well oiled - after pub lunch

Condom - Made for ******
Blondie - Is a *****

Condom - Effective rate 90% against pregnancy - 10% pregnancy
Blondie - 90% fail rate and 10% pass

Granny is sure that there are lots of other similarities but they would be too rude to even mention.

It was soon time for the visit to Zen, this is the place where the "team" meet to chill before starting all over again for the late session.

Granny really loves it there and there are lots of weird and wonderful sights to experience while enjoying a latte and jacket tater.

Back at the ranch it was all systems go but was enjoyable and have lots of homework (as always) to do before next week.

Granny didn't have the opportunity to take Kinky home as he was on a promise, so the old bird went straight home.

She is somewhat disappointed though as she can't have a glass of her favourite tipple before beddie byes as she has to fast for 10 hours.

The old gal has got to for a battery of blood tests in the morning and it just wouldn't do to have the devils blood running through her veins.

Its well past the old gals bedtime so its time she was off and headed for the land of nod.

A prick of a different kind for Granny tomorrow!

On Vacation.

If you are looking for Granny then you are going to be disappointed. The old bird is taking a well earned rest from the trials and tribulations of Blondie.

The owd geezer has done his best to try and put Granny into an early grave, but the old bird is re-charging her batteries as we speak. The old biddy will be on top form on her return in just under a weeks time.

The old git might have thought Granny was about to crumble and give in when she threw a wobbler, but no - the old gal is akin to Super Gran and the old woman has neat Shiraz pumping through her veins and ready to tackle the next onslaught.

There will be tears, blood, guts and gore - but they won't be Granny's.


Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon!

Checkmate!

Game Set and Match to Blondie

Granny has had one hell of a day so this blog will probably be short, miserable and bloody depressing.

What started off as a lovely day got progressively worse by the hour. Granny picked her new car up from the garage (the one she has been waiting 3 months for) and was in high spirits ( and no not the alcohol type).

It was a good start to what was going to be a hard day ahead.

The 2nd part of the exam at college was waiting. As usual, Blondie wasn't around to oversee that the classroom was fit for purpose and it was left to Mr A to get it sorted and he made a great job of organising it.

Granny made some errors on the paper last week but could correct them this week to hopefully get the rest of the paper right.

But what did the old bird do - she faffed around and wasted 3 hours trying to get her net profit sorted and ended up not being able to complete the paper.

Towards the final section of the paper Granny had a little talk to herself and asked why the hell she was putting herself through this, she didn't really want to do it anyway, so she made an executive decision and decided to call a halt to it all.

The old gal gathered up her bits and bobs and shoved them into her trolley and signalled to Blondie that she needed a word in his ear.

Granny had to wait a little while before she could talk to the old git, but in Granny's eye it was worth waiting for as she would be finally rid of this crap and be able to start living a normal life again without having the extra worries.

Granny told Blondie not to bother marking her paper because she wouldn't be coming back and she had had enough and this would be the last time she would be at the college.

Blondie was quite surprised by Granny's little outburst and went on to say not to throw in the towel as the end was in sight.

He said he would mark the paper anyway and to come back after the Easter holidays and we could talk it through and take it from there. Granny nodded in agreement just to pacify him but she had already made her mind up.

Granny and Blondie's Bitch went to Zen to meet up with Kinky to tell him the bad news that Granny would be leaving "the team".

None of us were our chirpy selves, we have all had enough of Blondie's teaching methods and today just finally put the nail in the coffin lid.

Granny was in two minds whether to go home and not bother with the evening class, but decided to attend and at least show some courtesy to the other tutor and explain the situation.

Granny sat through the whole evening and didn't feel under any pressure because she knew she was going and the old gal found that she quite enjoyed the evening and finally managed to understand some of the lesson that she was doing. Sods law!

Once the lesson was finished Granny met with the tutor outside the classroom and explained the situation. She was absolutely lovely about it and did not want Granny to throw it all away after coming so far.

This lovely lady actually cared and has offered extra tuition to get Granny through. The old bird could not be churlish and refuse this help and has agreed to see it through.

Normally Granny is a fighter but feels as though she is up against a brick wall with Blondie (oh god perish the thought). He doesn't instill any positivity and only dishes out negative comments which have a very demoralising effect.

The college will be closing for two weeks due to Easter, but Granny will still be attending and getting the extra tuition that has been offered and hopefully, Granny can salvage something out all this mess.

See you in two weeks if Granny hasn't done one!

He's late!

He's late, he's late for a very important date!

Granny has been preparing herself all weekend for today. It was a very important day as it was exam time.

All of us in the class have worked extremely hard to get to this point. Some have easily sailed through, while others (including Granny) have struggled and have had to go the extra mile to get results.

Blondie made arrangements for us to take the exam in another room, which was actually two rooms, but had dividers which opened up to make one large room. The normal classroom is very cramped and stinks of feet and things !!!

The "team" met at our rendezvous point and then made our way to the said classroom. Our fellow inmates were already assembled outside the classroom and raring to get on with the exam.

The classroom was locked so we had to congregate in the corridor outside, we waited patiently for the old git to arrive.

We waited and waited and waited.

Blondie was so pleased with himself last week when he blatantly shared with us that he busks this particular class. He was so proud of himself.

The knob-shank (as my late son-in-law would have said) couldn't even show us any courtesy and arrive on time for the exam. How the hell can any of us show any respect for someone that has so little regard for others?

Eventually he turned up and we filed into the classroom only to find that the partition walls had not be removed, so we had two classrooms instead of one.

Now Blondie might think he is Superman, but even he couldn't split himself up into two so that he could patrol both classrooms.

If the old git had anything about him, he should have turned up at the classroom at least fifteen minutes before the exam commenced to ensure that everything was in order.

But hey, this is a super human, cock strutting, please stroke my ego bloke - with his brains where his balls are, we are talking about.

It was mayhem. There wasn't enough desks for everyone. Blondie sent the "boys" into the classroom next door, while the "girls" (Granny ain't been called a girl for a long time) remained in the one where we had all filed into.

We are all paying nearly a thousand quid to be taught by someone who is so incompetent!

The git wanted to start the exam before the room was ready, saying he would stop the exam in midstream once the classroom had been made into one and would move some people into the adjoining room!!!

One of the "team" picked him up on this saying that it was not ideal. Granny was in agreement. For Christ's sake its hard enough taking the exam without all the added farting around from Blondie

A Knightess in shiny armour arrived, our other beloved tutor came galloping in on her trusted steed and took over the situation. She organised the dividers to be divided so that the two classrooms became one!

By this time a good twenty minutes had passed by, nerves were jangled, (Granny's were anyway).

The knob-shank went into his spiel about no-one being allowed to sniff, cough or if the old git had his way, breathe.

If you did any of the above, then you were out on your ear and there would be no exam. He's a pompous t**t. It was okay for him to cough and splutter whilst we were slogging away!

It was hard going for Granny and she found it difficult in parts. The old gal has made some errors but she will be able to correct them next week when the final part of the exam commences.

Its been a bloody hard day and its taken its toll on the old bird.

The visit to Zen wasn't enough to put a spring into Granny's step. The owd biddy was buggered and she just wanted to go home, but that wasn't possible as there was still another session to go.

The evening session was made up of a mixture of folks who had taken the exam the night before and those during today.

The night before folks were full of life, whilst the today's clan were on their knees. The knightess showed us some kindness and finished the evening class early.

Granny was relieved, and after dropping one of her boys off home she headed for Tescos to see if she could pick up a little Australian number.

Bottoms up - so to speak.

You hum it - I'll play it!

As you know, Granny has spoken about being in a Brass Band and she has a very precious shiny instrument with lots of things that go in and out and up and down.

This shiny instrument had to go in for surgery this morning - nothing terminal, it just needed some new parts and a bit of lubrication to make it work like new.

Granny dropped off her little baby at the Brass Hospital and she gave it a tender hug and kiss before leaving it in the capable hands of the surgeon.

Knowing that her "baby" was undergoing such treatment, played (no pun intended) on Granny's mind and she was fraught with worry.

This impacted on Granny's performance and she felt unsettled all day wondering how much her little "baby" was going to cost her. After all, she had been bled dry by the greedy council bastards a couple of weeks beforehand.

Granny struggles to get by on her pension and has to make sure that every penny is well spent!

Sometimes, when you get up in the morning, you just know its going to be one of those days. You feel it in your watter!

Well - Granny felt it!

The first person Granny bumped into when she got to college was the owd geezer himself. He opened the classroom and let the old bird in so she could rest her weary bones.

Blondie said he was going to do Granny a favour but it would require one back in return! It was one of those you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours type of things! Christ!

Now Granny is long past selling her body so she couldn't think for the life of her what the old tosser wanted.

It turned out that he wanted Granny to bring a supply of tissues to next weeks exam for his students !!!!!!!!

Apparently, if anyone so much as sniffs in the exam then they are out on their ear (or should it be nose)?

Blondie made a startling confession today.

He fessed up to actually busking the Intermediate classes. Never - surely he is too much of a professional to do that - snigger snigger.

This declaration clarifies everything that Granny already knew. (He's a ******). Blondie admitted that he did not have to prepare for our classes as he could busk his way through them. Now we know why so many of us are struggling. I rest my case M'Lud!

Blondie went on to admit that the next years course "Technician" he can't busk - so that's alright then!

It doesn't seem to bother the old git that its costing students nearly a thousand squid to get through this term. As long as he is being paid a salary, then that's all that matters!

Granny was left speechless for once. There is no hope then, is there?

Granny and "Team" chilled out at Zen. Kinks wasn't at the class today as he had a prior engagement so met us later. The little chick was all loved up bless him.

Back again for the evening session, which Granny must admit went straight over her head, every grey hair of it. The old bird just does not have a clue whats going on.

The hosepipe and car are looming closer than Granny cares to wish for!

Repreive

Its been a grand day today.

The sun was out, the sky was blue, and its raining, raining in my heart.

Aye - another college day has loomed before Granny's tired old eyes. It was a beautiful day though and the old bird felt that spring was just round the corner, it put a fair skip into Granny's step, well, perhaps a hobble if Granny was to be truthful.

The old bat trundled into college with her bag duly following behind. Granny has invested in a little trolley to put all her books in and other treasured possessions. It takes the strain off the old gals bones.

Now Granny doesn't like change, but when she managed to get up to the third floor, there was no-one in sight and it put the old biddy right off kilter. Normally the place is heaving with folk but the corridors were empty.

Granny thought she would just poke her nose through the classroom door to see if she could see any bags that belonged to her fellow inmates. Bugger - the classroom was already opened and folk were milling about. This was very unusual, it wasn't like "B" to let anyone stay in while he wasn't present.

Miss B-C was already in situ as was Motor Mouth and crew. Tables were askew and poor Mr Angry's seat had been taken by someone else.

The place had gone to pot and it took Granny and Mr A to put it back in order. Even Kinky and Blondie's Bitch were taken aback when they entered the classroom. You turn you back for 5 minutes and the place is a shambles.

Although it was lovely outside, there was a distinct chill in the air in the classroom. The peasants were revolting (not that type of revolting - well maybe) Granny could sense that there was going to be a Mutiny on the Bounty. Note to self - stop watching so many old films.

There was a definite unrest amongst the throng. This unrest was aimed at the imminent arrival of the exam next week. Many of the class, like Granny, feel that we are not ready to take the exam.

From what Granny can ascertain, there has been rumblings that people were going to pull out of the exam and re-sit at a later time, which is a damn shame after all the hard work people have put in. Granny admits, she too felt like the rest and was undecided whether to carry on or not.

This uncertainty was passed through the jungle drums to our other tutor and Granny thinks words have been said, although no-one will admit to this.

Granny saw something today (other than the dodgy stain on "B" trousers) that she thought she would never see. "B" did a U-Turn. I think he realised that more than half the class who are not his star pupils were at the point of rebellion and would not be sitting the exam next week which would severely cause egg on his face!

It has been decided by the powers that be, the exam now will be delayed by a week and will now commence on the 25th March instead of the 18th.

Yippee - at least another week to get the old gals head together and try and make sense of everything. Granny's nerves are shot and is having to self medicate big time!

It really is a stressful time and Granny is finding it very difficult, but the old gal has a contingency plan in place.

She has had a long and serious think about the situation and should she fail the big exam in June ,then she has to re-think her strategies.

Granny is investigating an alternate college that doesn't have Blondie look-alikes and hopefully have better teaching methods. Its a big gamble, but surely it can't be any worse than the way things are at the moment. Its a risk worth taking me thinks.

Granny feels that if she is giving up three years of her life (years she can well ill-afford) then she deserves the best teaching methods possible!

Cafe Zen was calling big time tonight and was a most welcome retreat. Prince Charming was flitting around and making the old bird go weak at the knees. If only he was a few years older - wonder if he has an older brother?

One of our "team" was missing tonight - she was on holiday in Prague and she was sorely missed.

The latter session was hard going again and Granny and BB struggled as is the norm.

In our defence though, we were mislead on one of the tasks we were doing and it totally confused both of us.

Poor old BB was taking it all to heart - bless her. Tensions are running high and time is running out.

Granny was glad when the evening came to a close. She had the pleasure of escorting two boys home in her car!

She had to drop one of her boys off outside the local Fire Station. The old bird had a quick gander to see if she could see any hunky Fire Men, but they must have been tucked up for the night. Think Kinky S had a quick gander too, so we were both disappointed.

Kinky S is a great mate and Granny would be proud to have him as her adopted son anytime.

When Granny gets home she will be sharing her evening with a little Australian red number.

Cheers!

Mr Negative!

What an absolute crap day today has been.

Granny knew it was going to be a rough ride when the bloody council conned her out of eight squid to park the car for a days visit at the college. The thieving bastards!

After shelling out the said dosh, it cost the old bag a further £1.05 for a bottle of diet coke from the college shop. They should advertise that it is rob a Granny week!

The old gal made her way to the lift and met Blondie's Bitch and Miss B C 2009 queueing up for the lift that takes you on a mystery trip, but the old bugger wasn't working so we had to catch the one further up the corridor.

Granny is always on tenter-hooks wondering if the lift will get her to her destination.

Granny and "B"s Bitch settled down for a bit of a conflab before the classroom was opened. Normally we have a fair bit of time to ourselves, but today was going to be an exception.

God almighty, Motor Mouth was the first on the scene, her great big gob flapping like a tent flap in the wind. Granny half expected the Elf and Safety Brigade to appear to measure the noise levels. They were certainly not at a safe capacity! No wonder old Granny is Mutton Jeff!

Binty was the next to arrive, she has had her bunions done so she was hobbling a bit, but she seemed to be getting around okay.

In a blink of an eye the corridor was full of AAT Students. Why were they so early? Why was there so many? Why were they so noisy? So many whys, Granny demands answers. Answers on a post card please - care of Blondie's Bolt Hole, Woodville.

We all settled ourselves down in the class room. Blondie was full of his usual innuendos and crap that he always is.

Normally he has some dodgy looking stain on his trousers, but this time it was further up. His waistcoat had a big white stain just above the top button. What the hell has he been doing.?

Granny asked him if he had spilt his dinner up the front, but his hearing was selective and he didn't answer.

Before we got down to today's schedule (don't make Granny laugh, B never has a schedule, he plays it by ear) Blondie had a special announcement to make.

Apparently, we have been put on a list of those who are going to pass, and those who are going to fail.

The old git was so full of negativity, that's just what we wanted to hear before the onset of our next exam in a couple of weeks. It really spurred us on - not!

The bastard really knows how to go for the jugular (I bet he only has a little winkie and is trying to make up for it in other ways - the tart).

It put a right damper on things for the whole day. If any of us fail, its not because we haven't tried but because of the lack of his teaching methods - they are none existent.

He is always banging on about his brightest students and how they will walk the exam. He never acknowledges or gives the respect or time to those that really have to work twice as hard to keep up with the impossible pace that he works too.

Granny has never met anyone that is so lacking in people skills and who is so uncaring.

The old gal has a problem with her hearing and has been very reluctant to let many people know of this situation as it is embarrassing. The old biddy mentioned this to "B" at the start of the term and he "allowed" (how kind) Granny to sit near the front of the classroom so she could hear what was going on.

Granny struggles to hear when there are lots of people talking at once and tends to lip read quite a lot.

Today there was a situation that arose and Granny had to remind Blondie that she was partially deaf - his response was PARDON! He thought it was very amusing. Granny didn't!

Granny is going to have him big time when all of this is over!

Our little group have a new sanctuary (Zen Cafe) and it was such a welcoming place after today's onslaught.

The proprietor is such a lovely man. If he was just a few years older Granny would have him! (If Kinky doesn't get him first). He is Mr Charming and makes you feel very welcome.

We have music to boogie in our seats too and they do the most fantastic coffee!

The atmosphere is brill and you really feel chilled and the coffee is great too. The food is plentiful and really cheap and the coffee is out of this world

Have I mentioned what fantastic coffee they do - no - well they do a lovely latte, you should try it.

The evening session was a bit hard going, but Granny has made plenty of notes and guess what the old bird will be doing this weekend?

At the moment Granny is feeling very overwhelmed by it all and is really fretting over the exam which is looming.

Granny would gladly sit on the casting couch if it ensured that she got a pass!

Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

Granny knew it was going to be a funny sort of day as she sat waiting in her car ready to go into college.

The old gal was memorised by all the pigeons sitting on a empty building, then suddenly they all leaped off en-mass and flew in great big sweeping circles several times.

It was like a scene from old Alfie H's The Birds. They looked so sweet and innocent, then without warning, the little buggers dive bombed in front of anyone that was walking in front of the cenotaph.

Granny would be most grateful if someone could tell her why? (Kinky, you are a mind of useful information - whats the gen on this)?

Granny made her way into the college and was a bit early so she had to sit outside the classroom waiting for the 70's throwback to arrive.

Out of the corner of Granny's eye she could see a familiar sight making its way up the flight of stairs. The sight of Blondie puzzled Granny for a while because something was different. At first the old gal wasn't sure, he still had the same old strut and cocky walk as ever.

What could it be?

It was his golden locks - they were loose and flowing onto his shoulders, the little black ribbon was gone and his matted mane was in its full glory. But there was something else, it wasn't blond!

Granny can't be certain, but it looks as though he has put one of them rinses on it because now he is a ginger "knob" in every sense of the word!

I think the hair dye had nobbled Blondie cum Ginger Knobs brain as he didn't know his arse from his elbow today. His teaching methods (or should I say lack of them) were the worst that Granny has experienced.

He was flitting about from one subject to another like he had ants in his britches, talking of britches, he still had the dodgy stain on the front of his trousers! The jury is still out on that one!

Blondie's bitch wasn't on the scene today so not sure if that had some effect on "B" as he definitely wasn't on form.

Today, "B" lost one of his most ardent fan club members. This particular lady, Miss B C (aka Florence Nightingale - that's another story) has been struggling somewhat with the old farts methods and today this culminated into a very unpleasant spectacle.

She asked the old porn star to slow down a bit as she wasn't quite grasping the situation, but the old geezer turned on her and uttered several disparaging remarks in front of the whole class (this was not called for). We are all struggling, but she had been brave enough to voice her concerns, but ended up being pistol whipped for it.

The poor old soul burst into tears and left the classroom. The old bugger never even batted an eyelid but then went on to say to Florence's neighbour (gob on a stick) that it wasn't fair that she had to sit next to her. He's a two faced old ........ He is the most uncaring creature Granny has laid eyes on for sometime.

Its not nice seeing someone distressed like that and Florrie had really taken it to heart. I know she is struggling and Granny accepts that "B" does have a time-table to adhere to (an ill prepared one at that) but there are ways of talking to people and dealing with difficult situations. Blondie is definitely lacking in people skills.

Blondie has the distasteful habit of coming out with inappropriate comments. While we were concentrating on the work that he had set us, he suddenly spouted out to a couple of lads in the group, that he would like them to be at one of his gigs. He said that they would have the opportunity for sex and drugs, (I suppose the rock and roll would be "B"!) God forbid!

How the hell this bloke ever got to the position he is in today teaching young impressionable students is beyond Granny's comprehension! Thank god for sanctuary time, it was a most welcomed event and one Granny greeted with open arms.

After filling Granny's belly with kinky sausage, chips and peas, the old gal was ready to tackle the evening session.

Although Granny isn't keen on the whole AAT thing, she likes the evening session with a different tutor.

This particular person is so professional and well prepared and you leave the room at the end of the evening, actually believing that you have learnt and achieved something.

Blondie - take note!