All Quiet on the Western Front

Granny didn't know what to expect after last weeks shenanigans but it was all quiet on the horizon.

Mr Angry had his happy head on and he gave me a crafty smile when he walked up the corridor to the classroom.

Blondie arrived in all his full glory strutting around like a peacock with his feathers fully "erect". Ooh er missus.

There is one thing I can say about the intermediate year, you just don't know what to expect - always expect the unexpected and you won't be disappointed - that's granny's motto.

The classroom was hot and stuffy as usual, with the scent of o'dor trainer lingering in the air. It was hard going working in that atmosphere.

Gob on a stick was present and somewhat incapacitated or should that be decapitated. She never shuts up and yes - she is a fully paid up member of the blondie fan club too.

Its hard going this time round and concentration levels have to be at their peak. If you take your eye of the "ball"so to speak, then that's it, you've had it. Talking of balls .......

There are so many little irritations and some bloody great big ones too, I just don't know how I am going to keep it all together.

Last year it was all the kids that got Granny's goat, but this year it goes way beyond that. To be fair, the kids in the class are a decent bunch and very respectful and I have this urge to mother them.

Blondie doesn't seem to grasp the fact that there are several different age categories within the class. I am not sure I like being called "good girl angel" after I have read out a paragraph aloud, as I am almost certain that the chaps are not happy with "good boy". For Christs sake, I am an old bag with three kids and two grandchildren.

The bit I like best about college is when we go to the chippie in between lessons. This is my favourite time and one which gets me through the whole process. Without it, life would be unbearable.

I feel very blessed that I have made acquaintance with some very lovely friends. This little select group of friends are fantastic. They are very supportive and I enjoy their company very much.

We bombard Tommy's Fish Bar every Wednesday afternoon, its the highlight of our day and one I look forward to immensely.

These special people are like a little family to me and make me laugh so much. If it wasn't for them, I don't think I would have continued with the course this year.

The pressures are really hard this time round, and having these wonderful friends around make it so much easier.

I won't mention them by name, but they know who they are. One of them has a bear that wobbles when she laughs, and another, he likes big shiny sausages.

One loves her mini and last but not least, likes to bring his tea with him and looks as though he doesn't have a care in the world. These are splendid people indeed.

I have witnessed another side of Blondie tonight, one I didn't expect. We were just half way through completing a practice exam paper when low and behold the smart board suddenly burst into life displaying the ageing rock cum porn star.

Youtube hosts various video's of our blondie strutting his stuff. OMG!

There was no sound, but seeing blondie shaking his head back to and fro didn't leave much to the imagination. Granny has never seen anything like it in her life.

As soon as I got home I logged onto Youtube to get the full version

Don't give up the day job Blondie!

Mr Angry Goes Bananas

Well - Granny hasn't written for some time, because there hasn't been really much too write home about until today

Okay, the college scene was a big shock even 2nd time round. Blondie is constantly on my case and now has reverted to calling me STS after I tackled him about using my full title in front of the class. Everyone else is called by their christian names - but not granny - no, it had to be the full works.

Blondie is a throw back from the 70's which is a shame as I don't suppose he can help it. He puts me in mind of an aging rock or possibly porn star (the type from the home movies kind) not that granny has been acquainted with any I am sorry to say. There is life in the old gal yet.

The class is made up of weird, wonderful and not so wonderful people.

We have Blondie, who I have already spoken about. Gob on a stick is next in line, she was absent today. Then we have the growler, who constantly makes throaty noises while you are trying to concentrate.

Following close behind is the Blondie fan club. They worship the very ground that he walks upon. They sit there all do-ey eyed and worship every blond hair on his head. Aaahh.

The most exciting of all is the Mr and Mrs Angrys' of this world. There are a few dotted around the classroom. They seem to creep out of the woodwork at the most in-opportune time. They frighten Granny.

Today was one of those days that made Granny sit up and quiver in her little ole wrinkly stockings.

The lesson started off as a quite un-assuming lesson, learning about extended trial balances. Then out of nowhere the fireworks started (it wasn't even the 5th November). Someone had rattled Mr Angry's cage - and that someone was "Blondie".

We have to order books in to do the course and in this case some of Mr A's hadn't arrived, this tipped him over the edge. Out rolled the heavy artillery and we all donned hard hats and camouflage.

It was like a war zone, I half expected that reporter bloke off the telly in the white suit to pop up in the middle and do a TV report. Mr A just lost it and tore old Blondie to shreds.

Mr A wasn't happy about the classroom - which I did mention in my previous blog. It is crap, but Mr A pointed this out to us all with his angry head on. You can't see the whiteboard - or smart- board as it is called (can't see whats smart about it as it is on the side of the wall and we are all facing forwards).

You need binoculars to see what is written on it if you are sitting at the back. This and a combination of other things just sent Mr A bananas.

I can't believe I am saying this - but I did feel sorry for Blondie for a moment until I gathered my senses together and thought better of it. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander sprang to mind.

I can see where Mr A was coming from, but going crazy in the middle of a class is not the best way to resolve issues. In fact it was quite embarrassing.

Anyway to cut a long story short - we all legged it and went to the chippy.



C'est la vie.