Bad Moon Rising!

It was a day of panic for our Blondie. Last week he told us that he was going to be observed during today's lesson.

We had already been instructed that we had to turn up on time, ensure all our homework had been completed and generally show Blondie was not really the ****** that he portrays to us every week. This was going to be a difficult task.

Blondie's Bitch was there early with her low cut top. Blondie likes this as its pleasing to his eye and to be quite honest it does distract him a bit. This enables Granny to play for time if she is struggling on a particular question. Granny just has to make Blondie's Bitch laugh and this in turn, makes her bazoomas wobble and Blondie has succumbed!

We filed into the classroom and "B" was in a panic trying to get everything organised. Every time the classroom door opened Blondie nearly wet his pants thinking it was the "observer".

The lesson got underway and Blondie calmed down somewhat as it looked as though he was not going to be "watched" in our lesson and it would now be his evening lesson. Hurray for us because we don't have the old tosser now at the night class. Yay!

Now Granny once mentioned about the Grand Canyon and OMG it was like the repeats that are shown on telly over Christmas. First time round is probably just about manageable, but second time round you desperately lose the will to live.

Miss BC 2008 give us the most shocking replay of her winning assets (assets are not the right word to describe what Granny is talking about, but she doesn't know what the opposite is).

One minute the classroom is bathed in light and the next was just like an eclipse with knobs on. Even our old porn star was shocked and all he could mutter was that he had been looking for somewhere to park his bike. And right there in front of him was his answer. Bejesus, you have seen nowt like it.

An uneasy atmosphere settled amongst the class and the rest of the lesson just seemed to pass in a blurr.

Both gob on sticks had their fair share of air time and Granny was glad when the lesson came to a halt. The old gal needed her battery charging fast.

Arnie was waiting for us with the big "Arnie smile". Granny really looks forward to this particular time of day as she is amongst good friends and she adores them all.

The evening lesson again was a joy as it is with the best (in Granny's eyes) tutor in the college. She is so lovely and has time and patience for everyone. Blondie really needs to take a leaf out of her book and see how its done.

Its hard going and Granny is not afraid to admit that she is struggling at times, but she is determined to see it through and hopefully all the hard work and determination will pay off.

If it doesn't, then get a length of hosepipe at the ready!

"Just give me an hour".

Granny can't believe how quick the Christmas holidays have flown by and its back to college again. The thought of Blondie beckoning is enough to put you off your breakfast for life.

Its been great these last few weeks not having to go to college and most of all, not having any homework to do.

Today felt like you were going to the dentist and you know you are going to have a filling.

There is going to be pain, lots of it, numbness, a big horrible sucker making advances towards you, then finally having to spit out bits of shrapnel into a giant bowl. This describes Blondie's lesson perfectly.

Now Mr "B" told us last year that the class would be downsizing after Christmas. He is a bloody liar. The room was still as full, still as stuffy and still stinks of sweaty trainers.

The Blondie fan club was in full glory hanging on to every word. There was so much eye-lash fluttering, Granny thought the window was open or someone was turbo charged!

Granny thinks Mr Angry wasn't in a good frame of mind today. We never had our "Hi Team" greeting, that's a bad omen. Granny now always carries protection because you never know when you are going to need it!.

The lesson went totally over Granny's head, it was about partnerships and appropriation. Christ knows what the hell Blondie was talking about.

He taught us in his usual cack-handed fashion, which in turn leaves everyone in a state of Zombiness. His favourite phrase came into play "Just give me an hour" !!!!

Blondie and few others went out for a break which just left a few people in the classroom. We already know we have one gob on stick, but now we have another fighting for first place.

She is like a great big ruddy fog horn and at the top of her voice she screeched how she was breastfeeding her babies and how men are turned on by breastfeeding women. These "babies" are 4 and 7! TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

The highlight of our day was when Mr Pink Hat Man came to the rescue.

While Mr "B" was out of the room having one of is usual "breaks". Pinkie fired up Youtube on the smart board and kicked into action Fred Zeppelin. Granny has not laughed so much for a long time.

Blondie looked even more of a K.S. then ever as he was frolicking about on the big screen.

After the days exciting events it was time to go and visit the sanctuary. It wasn't the same this evening as Blondie's Bitch was missing and she missed the wonderful events that took place during the day.

Back at the ranch it was time for our 2nd lesson. This was a complete joy as it was our evening tutor from last year and she is absolutely fantastic.

Nothing is too much trouble for her and her teaching material is well prepared beforehand. Any problems and she is there to offer a helping hand.

The evening was great but Mr Angry had a bit of turn towards the end, which I suppose was justified in a way. He was upset that we are having to learn "stuff" that we will never use in the "real world", but this "stuff" is on the exam paper so its relevant and important that we are taught it.

It was a long tiring day and Granny was knackered by the end of it. She just can't wait for next week.