Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

Granny knew it was going to be a funny sort of day as she sat waiting in her car ready to go into college.

The old gal was memorised by all the pigeons sitting on a empty building, then suddenly they all leaped off en-mass and flew in great big sweeping circles several times.

It was like a scene from old Alfie H's The Birds. They looked so sweet and innocent, then without warning, the little buggers dive bombed in front of anyone that was walking in front of the cenotaph.

Granny would be most grateful if someone could tell her why? (Kinky, you are a mind of useful information - whats the gen on this)?

Granny made her way into the college and was a bit early so she had to sit outside the classroom waiting for the 70's throwback to arrive.

Out of the corner of Granny's eye she could see a familiar sight making its way up the flight of stairs. The sight of Blondie puzzled Granny for a while because something was different. At first the old gal wasn't sure, he still had the same old strut and cocky walk as ever.

What could it be?

It was his golden locks - they were loose and flowing onto his shoulders, the little black ribbon was gone and his matted mane was in its full glory. But there was something else, it wasn't blond!

Granny can't be certain, but it looks as though he has put one of them rinses on it because now he is a ginger "knob" in every sense of the word!

I think the hair dye had nobbled Blondie cum Ginger Knobs brain as he didn't know his arse from his elbow today. His teaching methods (or should I say lack of them) were the worst that Granny has experienced.

He was flitting about from one subject to another like he had ants in his britches, talking of britches, he still had the dodgy stain on the front of his trousers! The jury is still out on that one!

Blondie's bitch wasn't on the scene today so not sure if that had some effect on "B" as he definitely wasn't on form.

Today, "B" lost one of his most ardent fan club members. This particular lady, Miss B C (aka Florence Nightingale - that's another story) has been struggling somewhat with the old farts methods and today this culminated into a very unpleasant spectacle.

She asked the old porn star to slow down a bit as she wasn't quite grasping the situation, but the old geezer turned on her and uttered several disparaging remarks in front of the whole class (this was not called for). We are all struggling, but she had been brave enough to voice her concerns, but ended up being pistol whipped for it.

The poor old soul burst into tears and left the classroom. The old bugger never even batted an eyelid but then went on to say to Florence's neighbour (gob on a stick) that it wasn't fair that she had to sit next to her. He's a two faced old ........ He is the most uncaring creature Granny has laid eyes on for sometime.

Its not nice seeing someone distressed like that and Florrie had really taken it to heart. I know she is struggling and Granny accepts that "B" does have a time-table to adhere to (an ill prepared one at that) but there are ways of talking to people and dealing with difficult situations. Blondie is definitely lacking in people skills.

Blondie has the distasteful habit of coming out with inappropriate comments. While we were concentrating on the work that he had set us, he suddenly spouted out to a couple of lads in the group, that he would like them to be at one of his gigs. He said that they would have the opportunity for sex and drugs, (I suppose the rock and roll would be "B"!) God forbid!

How the hell this bloke ever got to the position he is in today teaching young impressionable students is beyond Granny's comprehension! Thank god for sanctuary time, it was a most welcomed event and one Granny greeted with open arms.

After filling Granny's belly with kinky sausage, chips and peas, the old gal was ready to tackle the evening session.

Although Granny isn't keen on the whole AAT thing, she likes the evening session with a different tutor.

This particular person is so professional and well prepared and you leave the room at the end of the evening, actually believing that you have learnt and achieved something.

Blondie - take note!

Bad Moon Rising!

It was a day of panic for our Blondie. Last week he told us that he was going to be observed during today's lesson.

We had already been instructed that we had to turn up on time, ensure all our homework had been completed and generally show Blondie was not really the ****** that he portrays to us every week. This was going to be a difficult task.

Blondie's Bitch was there early with her low cut top. Blondie likes this as its pleasing to his eye and to be quite honest it does distract him a bit. This enables Granny to play for time if she is struggling on a particular question. Granny just has to make Blondie's Bitch laugh and this in turn, makes her bazoomas wobble and Blondie has succumbed!

We filed into the classroom and "B" was in a panic trying to get everything organised. Every time the classroom door opened Blondie nearly wet his pants thinking it was the "observer".

The lesson got underway and Blondie calmed down somewhat as it looked as though he was not going to be "watched" in our lesson and it would now be his evening lesson. Hurray for us because we don't have the old tosser now at the night class. Yay!

Now Granny once mentioned about the Grand Canyon and OMG it was like the repeats that are shown on telly over Christmas. First time round is probably just about manageable, but second time round you desperately lose the will to live.

Miss BC 2008 give us the most shocking replay of her winning assets (assets are not the right word to describe what Granny is talking about, but she doesn't know what the opposite is).

One minute the classroom is bathed in light and the next was just like an eclipse with knobs on. Even our old porn star was shocked and all he could mutter was that he had been looking for somewhere to park his bike. And right there in front of him was his answer. Bejesus, you have seen nowt like it.

An uneasy atmosphere settled amongst the class and the rest of the lesson just seemed to pass in a blurr.

Both gob on sticks had their fair share of air time and Granny was glad when the lesson came to a halt. The old gal needed her battery charging fast.

Arnie was waiting for us with the big "Arnie smile". Granny really looks forward to this particular time of day as she is amongst good friends and she adores them all.

The evening lesson again was a joy as it is with the best (in Granny's eyes) tutor in the college. She is so lovely and has time and patience for everyone. Blondie really needs to take a leaf out of her book and see how its done.

Its hard going and Granny is not afraid to admit that she is struggling at times, but she is determined to see it through and hopefully all the hard work and determination will pay off.

If it doesn't, then get a length of hosepipe at the ready!

"Just give me an hour".

Granny can't believe how quick the Christmas holidays have flown by and its back to college again. The thought of Blondie beckoning is enough to put you off your breakfast for life.

Its been great these last few weeks not having to go to college and most of all, not having any homework to do.

Today felt like you were going to the dentist and you know you are going to have a filling.

There is going to be pain, lots of it, numbness, a big horrible sucker making advances towards you, then finally having to spit out bits of shrapnel into a giant bowl. This describes Blondie's lesson perfectly.

Now Mr "B" told us last year that the class would be downsizing after Christmas. He is a bloody liar. The room was still as full, still as stuffy and still stinks of sweaty trainers.

The Blondie fan club was in full glory hanging on to every word. There was so much eye-lash fluttering, Granny thought the window was open or someone was turbo charged!

Granny thinks Mr Angry wasn't in a good frame of mind today. We never had our "Hi Team" greeting, that's a bad omen. Granny now always carries protection because you never know when you are going to need it!.

The lesson went totally over Granny's head, it was about partnerships and appropriation. Christ knows what the hell Blondie was talking about.

He taught us in his usual cack-handed fashion, which in turn leaves everyone in a state of Zombiness. His favourite phrase came into play "Just give me an hour" !!!!

Blondie and few others went out for a break which just left a few people in the classroom. We already know we have one gob on stick, but now we have another fighting for first place.

She is like a great big ruddy fog horn and at the top of her voice she screeched how she was breastfeeding her babies and how men are turned on by breastfeeding women. These "babies" are 4 and 7! TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

The highlight of our day was when Mr Pink Hat Man came to the rescue.

While Mr "B" was out of the room having one of is usual "breaks". Pinkie fired up Youtube on the smart board and kicked into action Fred Zeppelin. Granny has not laughed so much for a long time.

Blondie looked even more of a K.S. then ever as he was frolicking about on the big screen.

After the days exciting events it was time to go and visit the sanctuary. It wasn't the same this evening as Blondie's Bitch was missing and she missed the wonderful events that took place during the day.

Back at the ranch it was time for our 2nd lesson. This was a complete joy as it was our evening tutor from last year and she is absolutely fantastic.

Nothing is too much trouble for her and her teaching material is well prepared beforehand. Any problems and she is there to offer a helping hand.

The evening was great but Mr Angry had a bit of turn towards the end, which I suppose was justified in a way. He was upset that we are having to learn "stuff" that we will never use in the "real world", but this "stuff" is on the exam paper so its relevant and important that we are taught it.

It was a long tiring day and Granny was knackered by the end of it. She just can't wait for next week.

Turbo charged!

The day that Granny had been dreading had finally arrived.

Today was the first of our exams and Granny was not feeling over confident about sitting it.

For most of the past week she had been trying to think of an excuse for not taking the exam, but short of snuffing it, she couldn't think of anything that Blondie would believe.

Granny is too old for this kind of claptrap, she should be enjoying the twilight of her years knitting bed socks and the like, not gallivanting around school corridors with kids.

But as one of my previous blogs stated, me old boss who is now retired, thought that old Granny would benefit from doing this three year course.

Its alright for him, he's sitting at home with his slippers and pipe, but poor old Granny's life is being shortened by the minute by these nail biting events.

Granny has been doing extra revision in preparation for today's onslaught. She has lived and breathed VAT 100, index linked, ratios and moving averages for the last few weeks.

The old bird should be out there enjoying herself and embracing what's left of her life. She shouldn't be spending nights alone with boring old text books and having to succumb to Blondie's whims!

Last night Granny thought she needed a bit of brain fodder. She thought she should eat something that would give her energy and brain power. The only thing she had in her cupboard was a tin of Branston Baked Beans and Sausages.

Beans are supposed to be good for you, so Granny indulged in this delicacy at around 23:45. This would give the beans chance to do their magic (after all, it worked in Jack and the Beanstalk) and set Granny on the right road for the exam.

Bloody hell!

You have heard and seen nowt like it. Granny woke up to a peculiar green mist and needed to take oxygen before even managing to crawl out of bed. A few puffs on her inhaler did the trick.

Granny's rockets were charged, and by god she could have got to the college under her own steam so to speak.

All Granny needed was a bit of turbo power to set her in the right frame of mind and the old gal was raring to go - rockets on full thrust.

Granny met up with Mr "A", Kinky Sausage, Mini Driver and Blondie's Bitch. We exchanged a bit of chit-chat and we could all tell that each other were bricking it.

Blondie appeared out of the wood work and and went into the classroom, we were not allowed to follow him, he was "preparing himself" (just don't even go there).

There were only a handful of us actually sitting the exam this afternoon as the others had either done it last night, this morning or later this evening.

Blondie's fan club were nowhere to be seen. The Irish Bint and Miss Bum Crack 2008 had already taken the exam so it was really peaceful apart from one little interruption. A fellow student had a bad cough amongst other things and he made her sit outside in the corridor and take the exam! - Note to self - keep yer rockets under control Granny.

The exam was just like Christmas - weeks of preparation and its over in a blink of an eye. Three hours seemed liked three minutes. Was it really worth all the worry and sleepless nights?

Roll on next Wednesday when we get our results. Granny can see an awful lot of bottles of Shiraz being consumed before next week.

There is one bright side to all of this - Granny gets to drink loads of the red stuff as she has a genuine excuse to do so.

Cheers!

Builders Botties - Not!

Now if this is what Granny had to look at all afternoon she would be happy, but no, the old gal has never been that lucky in life.

She was subjected to the most horrific sight you could ever imagine. Right in front of old Granny was the biggest crevice you had ever seen in your life. How the hell the old gal was supposed to concentrate with the Grand Canyon looming before her very eyes, god alone knows.

It was very off putting and Granny was frightened of being swallowed up in the dark depths of one of Blondie's fan club members, bum.

She had to balance her pencil case on a stack of books to block out this scary orifice that was staring her in the face.

Granny felt quite queasy all afternoon and couldn't give Blondie the full attention that he commands.

Talking of Blondie - he is still the same old "knob shank" as my late son-in-law would have described him. He would have had Blondie's measure right from the word go - god rest his soul.

Its been quite an uneventful day really apart from the builders bum incident. Tensions are running high as the exam is next week and I would say that at least half of the class are not ready to take it, including Granny.

Blondie's teaching methods are really something to be desired. How the hell he manages to get paid the dosh he does for teaching a load of bollocks is beyond me. I am not saying that the AAT course is bollocks - its just the bloke teaching it.

He never gives you a chance. He will prattle on about stuff that isn't relevant, mainly about his ex-girlfriends. We have had the one who was going to make him a dad but she lost the baby and he was glad. Then there was another who was a thief stealing stuff from the shop where she worked.

Now I know Granny is a bit long in the tooth, but even she knows that this has nothing to do with AAT. She is still trying to make the connection as she is typing her blog at this very moment.

Blondie should go back to being the porn star, maybe he was better at it than teaching. Me thinks not - you can just imagine, in between his thrusts, he would chirp up "did I tell you about the girlfriend who ........."

Stud Muffin

Granny was feeling a bit under the weather this morning when she got up to go to college today.

She has been of late, over-indulging in beverages of an alcoholic nature and its played havoc with the old gal and brought her bunions up summat rotten.

She has had a tiring weekend mostly blowing her horn and it has really taken its toll on the old bird.

Going to college without all your faculties intact is not the best of ideas, but hey, Granny never has been the full shilling so some people would say anyway.

Blondie arrived early today which caught Granny unawares as he usually likes to strut his stuff down the corridor with his feathers all ablaze then has a quick preen before entering the classroom. But not today though.

He made a beeline for his bitch and asked her to rub his belly for him because he had eaten too much at the Lord Burton. Granny rolled her eyes in dismay coz it made her feel sick.

I swear that the classroom gets smaller each week or the tables have shrunk. Its like an obstacle course trying to get into your seat and you are lucky if you don't go arse over tit while doing the manoeuvres.

Poor old kinky sausage had Mr A's bags up his backside whilst sitting at his desk and Blondies bitch belts Granny in the back of the neck with her bosoomas every time she has to get by. I could put a compo claim in for assault from a pair of maracas.

Blondie as usual, likes the sound of his own voice and tends to digress from the subject matter and ends up waffling over something and nothing that has bugger all to do with AAT.

Blondie confirmed Grannies suspicions (if you had read her previous blogs) that he was a porn star from the 70's era. I knew it - I thought I had seen him in some old dodgy home movie. He went on to say that he had appeared in something with his rock band - entitled "LARGE".

We had a stud muffin in our presence - yuk I think not. "Large" I think he ain't.

The Blondie fan club were like something from "When Harry met Sally". There is one particular fan club member who would lay her life down for "B" her eyes glazed over and she looked all over come! I was in two minds whether to call out the paramedics.

Again, we were working on stuff that wasn't relevant to the up and coming exam. We were working on something that we don't have an exam in until April. This has left us with two weeks to concentrate on the relevant subject matter for the exam in December.

Granny is constantly banging her head against a brick wall trying to grasp the situation. She feels she is missing something here, but not quite sure what.

Our little group had the visit to the "Sanctuary" giving Arnie one last chance to behave. He was very subdued tonight and quite reserved. Perhaps he felt that he had over stepped the mark last week or had read Granny's blog calling him a cruentus appareo!

The latter session was full of the usual mystique. There were quite a few of the class missing this evening. The butch female version of Mr A was absent as was her side-kick.

Mr Nasal Passage was a right pain in the neck. All you could hear all night long was his fog horn of a voice permeating the atmosphere. He even dared to upstage Granny when she was doing her "good girl angel routine" how dare he, how very bloody dare he.

Not sure what we have been taught tonight as I think it could have been done in an email to us as it wasn't very informative. We have all been supplied with a copy of a previous test paper to complete at home for homework.

This aged tutor, cum rock porn star is being paid a load of dosh for teaching us nowt.

Amplitudo ero laetus ut is tractus est super

This college course is playing havoc with Granny's sleeping time. She has to get up early and head off into town to nab a good parking spot that isn't too far away from the college.

Granny cant do much trundling around just yet as her new knee has to bed in a little.

Granny thought she would do a little retail therapy before class and had a meander around the shops looking for an outfit that would be suitable for a 60's/70's night that she is attending in December.

Now you would have thought that the old bat would have had this type of clothing in her wardrobe already, but this granny likes to think she is trendy for her age and ditched the old biddy clothing long ago.

After having a successful shopping spree, Granny headed off for the college scene, with her bloody great big heavy bag slung over her shoulder.

There should be some law about carrying bags that make one of your shoulders droop to your knees. I know your body defies gravity with age, its bad enough having boobs dangling out from underneath your skirt without adding other body parts.

Granny made her way to the the 3rd floor to queue up ready for the classroom to be opened by our Blondie. We all wait in anticipation for this big event. Our team leader aka Mr Angry was in high spirits and gave us the Mr "A" greeting - "hi team".

You can tell what sort of day its going to be by just looking at the students that roll in one by one. We had a chewer in our midst today. He had a gob full of chewing gum and you could hear him slurping on it from about six miles up the road (perhaps exaggerating a bit - but you get my drift).

One of "the team" could have easily done him in by the end of the lesson it got that irritating along with gob on a stick who likes to poke her nose into every ones business. A right miss no-it-all. Don't you just hate people who know everything and get everything right.

Blondie made his way down the corridor - keys at the ready to open the classroom door, when he whispered into his bitches ear that he was pissed. Now granny wasn't sure what he meant by this as she is not used to that sort of language as you can tell from her blog - she is very wholesome.

Blondie has a tendency to say a lot of things tongue in cheek, but sometimes I think he may be speaking the truth in certain areas. Granny has yet to fathom that out. But make no mistake, Sherlock Granny is on the case.

Blondie kicked off the lesson by asking us if we were taught Latin at school. Now I am not sure where this fits into AAT, but Blondie seems to think it has some relevance.

It reminded me so much of one of our other tutors lessons last year, we had to investigate a stabbing. Not quite sure where this fits into the accounting scene, but hey, Granny is a novice, what does she know.

As it turned out, nobody had been taught Latin, not even Blondie, so I am not sure why it was even mentioned in the first place! Blondie sermo a sarcina of ........!

The "teams" sanctuary was calling so we made our way swift on foot. Now me mate with the kinky sausage was in for a nasty surprise. Arnie was waiting for him and pounced on him from behind.

Shock, horror - me poor mate was jabbed, poked, stabbed or whatever you would like to call it, with a knife in the back of his leg. Poor lad was traumatised all night, much to the point that we may need to look at finding a new sanctuary. Not sure where Arnie is coming from, but its not funny anymore - I think he has a screw loose! Cruentus appareo!

Amplitudo est a madide ulterius quod has had unus quoque plures dum stilus is blog.

Bonus nox noctis quod deus beatus.

Battered, Bruised and Bewildered.

Yes folks its that time again - another wonderful day spent at Burton College in the company of our beloved tutor (yuk wheres me sick bag).

Granny got to the college nice and early so she could nab a good parking spot. By getting there at a reasonable time it gave the old gal time to finish off her homework and hopefully earn a few brownie points.

No, she aint becoming a member of the Blondie fan club (not in this life anyway) but just trying to keep the old git off her back.

Mr Angry, who is more composed these days, had a bit of chit-chat with granny. We discussed Blondie's teaching methods or should I say - lack of them. Mr A is quite calm these days probably due to medication!

Blondie's bitch was in fine fettle and had been able to secrete her bags in the classroom before it had been locked until the next lesson started (we have to queue up outside till "B" struts his stuff down the corridor and unlocks the classroom door). I suppose being his bitch does have its perks.

Everyone is shoe-horned into their seats and once you are in that's it, there is no escape. If you didn't know the person sitting next to you intimately at the start of the lesson, then you will do by the end. There is no personal space in this environment.

The first lesson addressed extended trial balances, we have been doing these for the last few weeks. Blondie mentioned that the exam for this wasn't until March! We were all under the impression that it was going to be December. Blondie had failed to tell us this, then he went on to say that we wouldn't be doing anymore work on this until nearer the time. (Shouldn't we be concentrating on the stuff we need to know for the exam that is looming - is granny missing something here? d'oh!)

The "B" fan club were in full glory this afternoon and when sitting behind them you could see little hearts floating out of the tops of their heads. Yes Blondie, no Blondie, any thing you say Blondie, let me kiss yer feet.

Granny wasn't happy today, she likes a good laugh and joke as the next woman, but with "B" he over steps the mark at times.

Today was one of those times. He seemed to think it rather funny to poke fun at a particular type of disability which was more prevalent in our era (Mr A's, B's and Granny's time).

I was not amused. Blondie would certainly benefit from a crash course in diversity training and I told him so, in no uncertain terms.

Later on during the afternoon, Blondie referred back to my reference about discrimination and he said that I had made him feel bad about what he had said - quite right too.

Chippy time - Our little group trotted off to Tommy's for tea. As I have mentioned previously, this is the highlight of our day. We have our own little table and treat it as our little sanctuary after a stressful day.

Now looking at Tommy ( I don't think thats his real name, he looks more like an Arnie to me) you wouldn't think that he could duff someone up - but you would be wrong.

Another of me bezzie mates was on the receiving end of a wallop. This poor chick had done nowt wrong but order sausage, chips and beans.

Next minute Arnie delivered a blow that would knock yer bollocks off. Maybe its some form of greeting, we are still not sure.

Me mate was in shock. Arnie was smiling - which was frightening in its self and then he sent a round of bread for us all to have with our tea. Then to add insult to injury, me mates sausage had a bit of a kink in it and was subject to ridicule - poor lad, he's never going to be the same again, bless him.

The evening session entailed completing a past test paper which is the actual type of exam we can expect in December - and not the extended trial balances as first thought.

"Shite"

Star Studded Cast

It was back to college after having a lovely week off due to half term. It was horrible getting up this morning knowing that I would have to spend the day in our Blondie's company.

I am really trying to like him - honest, I am, but its not working. I think it is a love hate relationship. He loves himself and I, well, I think you know the answer to that one.

Our aged rock cum porn star never ceases to amaze me. He was in full porn mode today and made a number of references to the dodgy side of life. Even me bezzie mate has become his bitch. God what is the world coming to. Slap me bitch up!

Anyway, where was I, we are digressing a little.

Today was full of the usual promises. Gob on stick wore some bloody iffy looking hat which reminded me of Andy Capp (is he still going in the Daily Mirror or has he snuffed it).

The usual Blondie fan club was a bit thin on the ground which must have been quite disconcerting for "B". The front row doey eyed folk were nowhere to be seen, probably having some sort of Blondie firework "do" in his honour - after all, it is November 5th. Light a rocket for me and shove it where the sun don't shine.

I just can't get to grips with his teaching methods (what teaching methods), I thought old Geoff was crap but give me lovely old Geoff any day. At least you could take the "p" with him.

This evening we had a visit from the Simpsons and Julie Roberts. They have got their knickers in a twist with their VAT return and needed our help in sorting out their affairs.

Well - it comes to something when one of the students has to show "B" how its done. By the time we had finished, me head was mush. Figures were being thrown around, here, there and everywhere. Blondie - by his own admission, was struggling with this particular area.

We have found his achilles heel - yay !

Its been an irritating night for granny, Mr Nasal Passage has voiced his opinions and questioned the answers "B" has given - he does this every Wednesday - for christs sake - just accept that the answers are right - Blondie has them written down and has used them for years - you aint gonna change it!

Some biddy had a phone going off at regular intervals with the theme tune Dr Who. I can't take much more - its me age - the old birds had it.

Am I ever going to make it - God - I have another year of this - can I take it - NO!

Somebody, please, help Granny!

All Quiet on the Western Front

Granny didn't know what to expect after last weeks shenanigans but it was all quiet on the horizon.

Mr Angry had his happy head on and he gave me a crafty smile when he walked up the corridor to the classroom.

Blondie arrived in all his full glory strutting around like a peacock with his feathers fully "erect". Ooh er missus.

There is one thing I can say about the intermediate year, you just don't know what to expect - always expect the unexpected and you won't be disappointed - that's granny's motto.

The classroom was hot and stuffy as usual, with the scent of o'dor trainer lingering in the air. It was hard going working in that atmosphere.

Gob on a stick was present and somewhat incapacitated or should that be decapitated. She never shuts up and yes - she is a fully paid up member of the blondie fan club too.

Its hard going this time round and concentration levels have to be at their peak. If you take your eye of the "ball"so to speak, then that's it, you've had it. Talking of balls .......

There are so many little irritations and some bloody great big ones too, I just don't know how I am going to keep it all together.

Last year it was all the kids that got Granny's goat, but this year it goes way beyond that. To be fair, the kids in the class are a decent bunch and very respectful and I have this urge to mother them.

Blondie doesn't seem to grasp the fact that there are several different age categories within the class. I am not sure I like being called "good girl angel" after I have read out a paragraph aloud, as I am almost certain that the chaps are not happy with "good boy". For Christs sake, I am an old bag with three kids and two grandchildren.

The bit I like best about college is when we go to the chippie in between lessons. This is my favourite time and one which gets me through the whole process. Without it, life would be unbearable.

I feel very blessed that I have made acquaintance with some very lovely friends. This little select group of friends are fantastic. They are very supportive and I enjoy their company very much.

We bombard Tommy's Fish Bar every Wednesday afternoon, its the highlight of our day and one I look forward to immensely.

These special people are like a little family to me and make me laugh so much. If it wasn't for them, I don't think I would have continued with the course this year.

The pressures are really hard this time round, and having these wonderful friends around make it so much easier.

I won't mention them by name, but they know who they are. One of them has a bear that wobbles when she laughs, and another, he likes big shiny sausages.

One loves her mini and last but not least, likes to bring his tea with him and looks as though he doesn't have a care in the world. These are splendid people indeed.

I have witnessed another side of Blondie tonight, one I didn't expect. We were just half way through completing a practice exam paper when low and behold the smart board suddenly burst into life displaying the ageing rock cum porn star.

Youtube hosts various video's of our blondie strutting his stuff. OMG!

There was no sound, but seeing blondie shaking his head back to and fro didn't leave much to the imagination. Granny has never seen anything like it in her life.

As soon as I got home I logged onto Youtube to get the full version

Don't give up the day job Blondie!